"Claim your experience, don't let it claim you"

Last week I went through a notorious cold, which I have not experienced for few years, perhaps since I completed my treatment. As high fever prolonged, my mom urged me to be treated by IV. I refused persistently because just the thought of IV reminded me of chemotherapy, and it made me want to throw up right there. Later I gave in to be treated with IV, but the doctor told me that I don't have to do it since I can still eat. At the end, acetaminophen lowered my fever and I am much better now.

As I write out my experiences associated with my health, I wonder if I'm doing this because I feel that I must, because I define myself as a cancer survivor. I never felt like calling myself a 'cancer survivor' but regardless of how I feel, I am indeed a 'cancer survivor'. I began to ponder because I happen to watch a TED talk named "Yes, I am a cancer survivor. But that doesn't define me" by Debra Jarvis.  (Shown below)

Debra talks about how bad experiences (e.g. cancer) should not define who you are, and you can still control your identity. In her talks, she asks, "if you were to tell 3 things about yourself to a stranger on a bus, what would you tell?" And she talks about one patient who shared her cancer treatment experiences in front of her daughters but the daughters decided to leave the room right after she finished her talk. For Debra, the patient let her cancer experience eat her up and defined her, and made her talk about her experiences, but it really shouldn't have been, and that's why her daughters left the room. Then I thought, but the patient was sharing her feelings with her own daughters, why should she not be able to do that? I understand if it was a stranger, but it's your own family member. 

Even to your own family member, it's difficult to share your own feelings. I did not want to make my mom worry, so I still have a tendency not to tell how I felt about the whole experience of cancer and its treatment. It may also be that I have been away from home for so long and I'm more of an introvert than extrovert. 

And to the friend I've met after the treatment, I've only told few about my cancer experience. I guess they were the only ones I felt comfortable telling. Before I told them, I actually felt unsafe and did not have the sense of belonging to the new environment. Then I wonder, am I letting my experience claim my identity? I should not have told my friends? Even though I didn't feel that I had to, but I simply wanted to share my personal experience?

I don't have an answer to this question yet, but I may find out as years pass by and see how my emotion and beliefs evolve.