How much to whom

Last week I attended my best friend since we don't really know when's wedding. It was a beautiful, wonderful wedding! I also saw my classmates and friends from middle school, which was quite a nostalgic experience. All of them (except one friend who I told about my situation) asked me, "Did you just fly in from the United States for the wedding?" which I was planning on doing originally before I knew about lymphoma, but since that wasn't the case, I ended up saying, "I had some health concerns so I was actually in Japan for a little while. I'm hoping to go back to the States this summer, though." Then nobody questioned further about my 'health concerns', which was expected.

Additionally, I visited my old workplace few days ago. They were the people I wanted to see so badly, especially because I loved the people there and the place is physically so close from my home that I can see the building from my window. So thinking about visiting there gave me somewhat of strengths when I was suffering from side effects.

Nobody (again, except one close co-worker friend) knew that I was in Japan for the past few months, and I repeated the same sentence I gave out to the people at the wedding. However, I ended up telling the name of specific disease I have, and what happened in detail, to two ladies there. They both shared with me about the sickness they experienced first, so perhaps I felt comfortable to share because of that.

How much should you tell to whom?
The degree of comfort one feels about sharing personal information really depends on person, but when it comes to health concerns, it gave me headache that I don't know what to do.

Although Hodgkin's lymphoma is a relatively rare disease, I certainly hope that if anyone I meet ever come across similar sickness, or any disease at all, he/she finds out before it's too late. If I could increase the awareness about health in general through sharing my experience, I would be more than happy to share it all.
But before I was done with the treatments, I did not want sympathy or unnecessary anxiety from everyone I knew by telling them about lymphoma. It's because, again, the word "cancer" scares most people away. I never meant to draw a line in the pool of people I knew, to separate those to tell, and not to tell, but it happened subconsciously.

However, since I'm done with all the treatments, I can now be a living proof that I am well, that I feel more comfortable sharing further with everyone.

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Oh, and recently, I finally sorted out the medical bills from UW...the medical cost was astonishingly high compared to the ones in Japan, which reminded me of the hotel-like service at UW Medical Center, and the youth hostel-like service at Tsukuba University Hospital. I will discuss about it further in the next post.

Ability to feel 'bored'

Heart shaped pizza！

Ever since I began frequent visits to the hospital in June last year, I didn't have a single day that I felt 'bored.' (Although I never really felt bored when I was a student as well, since I was busy with school, research, and friends...) It is true that out of the past six months, I spent half of the time suffering from side effects, one fourth of the time visiting the hospital, then rest of the one fourth were spent in rush to do whatever I wanted before the next treatment begins. It has been about 2 weeks since the last visit to the hospital, and I was quite bored last week. Then I realized that the ability to feel 'bored' was something I have not experienced in awhile, because of all the treatment madness. So it seems like my body and mind is pretty much back to before June. I can feel 'bored', now!!

All my side effects seem to have disappeared as well. I have been enjoying eating tasteful dishes. The area affected by radiotherapy on my body were burned, but most of the burnt skins are peeled off. My doctor from radiology department said it will take about one year for all the burn to be gone. Also, new hair seems to have started growing on my head. I've heard from number of cancer patients that the new hair after chemo is really nice, like a baby hair almost. I'm looking forward to that :P

Followup #1...plans postponed

This morning I had a followup appointment with doctors from both departments, Hematology and Radiology. I had been feeling great except my tongue, who has still not regained healthy taste bud for me to taste saltiness. So I was actually excited to go to hospital, because I would get to discuss about my next step. I was waiting so long to start moving, I desperately wanted to start planing my time ahead.

But of course, things don't always turn out in the way you planned. I was hoping to head back to Seattle around June for the summer quarter, or at least I hoped to have such option. It turns out that I don't have that option. To be sure that no cancerous cells are growing back, I will need to go through at least two more follow up exams. I will be taking PET scan in mid March, then another followup appointment in August, which 6 months would be elapsed since the end of radiotherapy. If there was no sign of regrowth 6 months after the treatment, then there's 90 % chance that there really is no growing cancer cells. That's what my doctor said. I could do the follow up exams back at UW, but it will be a much easier choice if I just stayed few more months at home. "You will be able to go to the States with great relief if you could do the follow up here," my doctor said. I guess there's no need to hurry. Things I planned, can be postponed. It's never delayed.

The polar bear at the zoo looked really happy...he was walking around nonstop!