Lucky

When I think of cancer and other types of illness, they are simply a death threat, and there's nothing good about it. Or what's good about illness always seemed to come with pity that I could not resonate. The pain a patient experience can never be shared by others, and frustration follows a patient everywhere.

Last night I was reading a Japanese novel, where I discovered the happiness of being a patient. I was so intrigued by the line that I even felt lucky that I am ill:


「病に倒れた人は、確かに不幸ではあるけれど、恢復の喜びを経験できる幸せもまた手にしている。水が飲める幸せ、まっすぐ歩ける幸せ、身体に痛みがない幸せ、ほんの少しでも物を口にできる幸せがどれほど貴いか病まなければわからない。病んでこそ味わえる幸せがあるのだ。健やかな人には、決して知ることのできない幸せがある。」ガールズ・ストーリー、あさのあつこ


Here is my attempt in translation:

"People who fall victim to illness, are indeed unfortunate, but they also receive the fortune for being able to experience the joy of recovery. How the happiness for being able to drink water, the happiness for being able to walk straight, the happiness for feeling no pain in the body, and the happiness for being able to eat even a small portion, cannot be understood unless you are ill. There is happiness that can only be experienced through falling ill. And there is happiness that can never be understood by a person with full of life." --Girls Story, by Atsuko Asano




This is why I felt so pleasant when I could eat a full meal again. This is why when I felt like a winner when I could turn on a laptop again. And this is why I feel so energetic than ever that I could do anything once the side effects go away.

I am a lucky girl :)