2/8 Chemotherapy --- heat, zombie in pain, and hair

My doctor said my lymphoma got even smaller...I guess so?

It has been one week since my last post---there were a lot happened (sort of). I finally feel better to provide updates on my status.


My home's AC was not fixed until 3 days ago, so we spent 5 days last week sweating and whining. It was one of the hottest week for Japan, too...the temperature was 35+ C everyday with the humidity of 50+%. Also, it was even worse for me because I just had the second round of chemotherapy.


On Tuesday, 8/9, I went into the hospital around 9 am, and I was out by 4:30 pm. My WBC# was 2100; it is expected to decrease as I go on and there is no way to increase the value unless I inject the drug to increase the WBC. The chemo went alright, but worse than last time because the D drug was so painful during the injection. My vein at the location of needle was in crazy pain, it felt like someone was pinching my arm really hard for one hour, I thought the drug was going to squeeze my arm to necrosis. As soon as all the drugs were injected, nausea and stomach ache arrived. I quickly went back home with my mom, and started laying down on the bed in the hot steamy no-AC house. 


For the next 5 days, I felt like was a zombie in pain (or is zombie always in pain?). I had no motivation to do anything but lay down on the bed, I had consistent stomach ache, chest pain, and my body was fatigued all day. It almost felt like this time was worse than last time. And this time, I finally realized why so many people kept telling me to "stay strong." If I didn't 'stay strong', I would have fallen apart both mentally and physically. It meant a lot more than I imagined, to have wonderful people send me messages that push my back to stay firm.
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Additionally, new side effect arrived the day after my second round; hair loss. Slowly but surely, I'm shedding. Yesterday I was able to make a hairball with a size of golfball from taking shower.


I read a number of blogs by lymphoma patients, and Rose Egge, a reporter from komonews (thanks to Suzie!) stated, "It took just a few strands for me to realize I may never be mentally prepared to lose my hair." Perhaps because I don't have great attachment toward my hair, I don't feel that I am emotionally affected by my hair loss, or maybe not just yet. I'm even curious to know how my scalp looks like, and sometimes looking forward for 'new hair'. I heard from so many people that one of the best thing about after chemo was that their new hair grew out so pretty with no damages!. 


My mom and I started to discuss about whether to purchase a wig or not. You can buy a cheap one with under $100, but the question is more of whether I will need it? Not to brag, but I do have a lot of hair. When I told Jiro that I'm starting to lose hair, he said "I think you have more hair than you can lose." Humm, I hope so. Another question is will I want a wig? That I will have to wait until my hair is gone and see how I feel about it.